“Well, I should get going.”

So starts the process of the ‘Long-Leaving,’ that has been known to last indefinitely. Hours, or even on rare occasions, days. Its a Midwest phenomenon that some people have artfully mastered. Could take place at an event, a holiday gathering or even an allegedly quick visit. But its definitely a thing.

The next step may start with, “Oh, I almost forgot,” before launching into a nearly-missed opportunity to share an important thought-turned-conversation. This one is pretty common.

Or, “Before you go,” which proves that there are other participants in the Long-Leaving than the Leaver. Someone is gently trying to change the course.

It could happen in a place as innocent as the grocery store. When my daughter was younger she used to dread sighting familiar faces in the aisles, knowing that at least some length of chat was coming. “How many people do you know here?” She once blurted out. “You said we’d be quick but it’s getting dark out!”

Of course that’s a little dramatic. I maintain it was almost getting dark out when we came in, and define quick.

Holiday parties are notorious Long-Leaving breeding grounds. So many more people venture out to these events than the usual fare. It stands to reason that no matter how solid of an attempt you make, there isn’t enough time to get to visit everyone before they start heading out. Meanwhile you still have questions that need answers before people succeed in leaving. And you’re up to the task. I’ve known relatives who can get a good three to four questions in before their victims reach the door. And isn’t it a relief to know that cousin’s new job is going well and her mom is finally feeling better? Although sadly, the dog isn’t.

If you’re a hugger, goodbyes can take on a life of their own. I have to hug everyone, which requires time! Especially if they’re not all in the same room. Plus, the party doesn’t come to a stop while you’re making your way, accounting for delays while someone finishes a conversation or brings someone else into the mix.

“Hey, did you see that Jeannie’s leaving?”

“No, but good catch. I wanted to quick tell her something.” More evidence of multiple-party involvement.

And on it goes.

This dance of Long-Leaving has been around forever. I bet Gandhi was a Long-Leaver. History shows it could gently wind it’s way through a drink, another hug, phone photos that just have to be shared, etc. Don’t forget important health tips. Or an occasional sweet kiss on the cheek if you’re lucky.

But here’s the key thing to remember as the holidays approach–along with said custom. You may take comfort in this truth. No matter what, Long-Leavings are reserved for those we cherish. They signify love. I wouldn’t have it any other way.